Picture Of The Month! Natural Bridges National Monument, Utah! (Click Image for a Larger View)

Every month customers send us killer photos and I see no reason to keep them to myself so what better way to say thanks for sharing than to post them in this Picture of the Month spot..

Our March POTM was contributed by Gary Bretzmanover at I-BMW.com. He says of this shot.."It was a three day trip from Phoenix that covered about 1,300 miles. This trip was in June 2009 and the weather in Utah was perfect. We rode through northwestern Arizona through Payson and in to Utah passing though Monument Valley the first day. We stayed in Mexican Hat that night. A must do is the Swingin’ Steak restaurant in Mexican Hat as they literally cook your steak on an outdoor patio over their special mix of charcoal in a metal basket that swings back and forth. The next day we rode through Natural Bridges National Monument where this picture was taken. Amazing roads and NO cops to be seen (except in a couple small towns), a great place to ride."

If you would like to contribute your own"worthy" shot for our newsletter, here's what I'll need. First.. just email me 1 or 2 of your best digital shots. It'll need to be at least 800x600 in size or larger and preferably A. Of a BMW K1200S or K1300S, K1200RS, K1200R, R Sport, or any model year K1200GT or K1300GT and B. In focus.

Product Review: Passport 9500ix Radar Detector.. "Say Hello To My Little Friend"

My name is Jerry and I have a speeding problem. It's not a choice. I was born this way. Everyone who knows me ... friends, family, local wildlife, and particularly the local rangers that patrol the Blue Ridge Parkway will confirm this. I am not proud of it. Like a receding hairline or an enlarged prostate, I just live with it and hope it doesn't get worse. As law enforcement officers are inexplicable attracted to me like Tiger Woods to hos , I must protect myself with the best equipment my wallet can afford.

For the last few years my defensive weapons of choice have been my trusty Valentine One used in conjunction with my HARD. and sometimes a Visual Alert from Marc Parnes. The combination has for the most part been effective, but as of late I have been wanting more "advanced" protection. Yes, I still get the infrequent "velocity awards," (pic below right) but those are usually due to instant-on radar of which there's virtually no fool-proof way to defend oneself or the old fashioned way by not paying attention. It seems as I get older.. I am more easily distracted and/or less focused while riding. Probably a precursor of things to come? 'C'est la vie'

Amber has been using a Passport 8500 for the last 2 years and it's clearly better than my Valentine in some respects. It picks up signals about a second quicker.. it has fewer false alerts..and it has more features. The difference wasn't so vast that I would trade up, but the thought was always in the back of my mind. As towards the end of 2009's riding season I just barely avoided a handful of tickets I decided to suck it up and try one of Escort's new offerings in this new year. Coincidentally, I have a clear driving record for the first time in 25 years and I'd like to keep it that way... at least for a few weeks.

Escort actually has two new top-o-the-line detectors on their 2010 menu. The Passport 9500ix (with all the bells and whistles) and the Redline.. a stripped down version of the 9500ix with slightly better long distance detection capabilities. After reading various reviews I decided on the 9500ix over the Redline for MY riding environment. Yes.. the Redline has slightly better long range detection which would be great on the interstate, long curveless roads, or f#@ing Ohio,... but I almost NEVER get on the interstates, have no long straight roads here in the mountains of NC, and would rather have a rabid badger turned loose in my pants than ride through Ohio. Easy choice.

If you do your own research you'll quickly find all the positive reviews of both radar detectors so I'll not bore you with all the technicalities as frankly..that's been done and probably via better writing skills than my own. I'm here to answer simple questions.. "How well does the Passport 9500ix work on a daily basis?" or "Is it better than a Valentine One?" or "Is it worth upgrading to?"

As for on-the-road testing.. the weather so far this year has proven two things.. A. Al Gore, while perhaps a great dancer and a charismatic orator, is a total moron when it comes to his prescient ideas on global warming and B. An ice-age is a poor time to road test products. We've had almost daily snow for the last 2 months. Due to this painfully frigid fact, I have logged only about 150 motorcycle miles with the new Passport 9500ix so most of my preliminary feedback is gonna have to be from "cage" usage. The good news is.. I am already convinced that I spent my ill gotten doubloons wisely. In a word.. I love the 9500ix. I have been using it in my Explorer for weeks and I am beyond impressed. What really rocks my world is the GPS feature. Besides being able to manually "mark" a spot as a false alarm, speed trap, or bogus signal.. the 9500ix actually learns false signals given off by bank alarms, grocery stores, porn emporiums, via "artificial intelligence" and after about 3 passes it stores and remembers them by exact location and frequency. Damn! And that's only icing.

I experience almost no false alarms (unlike the Valentine which goes off when the wind blows) making it the most unobtrusive detector I've ever seen. On one 15 mile stretch of urban driving that I do on a weekly basis, my V1 would give no less than 14 false alarms. The 9500ix... 2. At first I wasn't even sure the Passport was working properly as it's so damn quiet, but I quickly realized that it's just that good in filtering out bogus signals. No more reaching for the mute button every 2 miles. Sweet.

Need further convincing? How about this... The Passport 9500ix is the first radar and laser detector on the market that you can update to the latest software using your own computer in the comfort of your own home. No more mailing it to the manufacturer and then waiting weeks while unprotected to get it back. Escort notifies each owner via email when there's a new update to be had. Since I got my new Passport 3 weeks ago I've already gotten 2 updates. Sweet. Taking advantage of them is chimp easy: Step One.. Go to the Escort website , log-in with your serial number, then download their Detector Tools program and install on your computer. This is a one-time deal. You'll now have an Escort icon on your desktop. That takes about 4-5 minutes. Step 2.. You download the latest upgrades from their site and save them either in a folder or on your desktop, which I did. Step 3..Plug your Passport 9500ix into your computer using a standard USB cable (one that has the small end common to most digital cameras). This will furnish power to the unit. It's the only cable you'll need for the procedure. For whatever chintzy reason, Escort didn't see fit to include this cheap USB cable with the kit so if you didn't get one with your digital camera.. you'll need to go out and buy one. Step 4.. Double click the Detector Tools icon on your desktop and you'll have 2 buttons.. One for installing software and one for installing the latest location database (which includes positions around the country of speed cameras and/or known speed traps). Step 5.. Click on the button you want to upgrade first, find the newly downloaded file(s) on your computer from the pull down menu, then click to install. The rest is automatic. This first time will take you a total of about 15 minutes to figure out what you're doing. All future upgrades should take about 2-4 minutes even if you are 'puter challenged like me. Nicely done, Escort.

There's more.. Each model is shipped pre-loaded with thousands of speed camera locations stored in its memory. As you approach these locations, the 9500ix will alert you in advance with a female voice (like a Garmin GPS), keeping you informed and ticket-free. The first day I used my 9500ix I was on the interstate and got a verbal warning that I was approaching a speed trap. It then counted down the distance on the face of the detector... 1500ft... 1200ft.. 1000ft until I had safely passed. Very cool. Put all this in one package and you have arguably the most advanced radar detector on the market offering the most accurate long-range protection in the industry. As for the aforementioned 3 questions... Yes.. the Passport 9500ix is super easy to live with. It's become my best friend. Yes.. it is better than a Valentine One although I miss the directional arrows of the V1. and Yes.. it is worth upgrading to.

Of course avoiding tickets in a Ford Explorer is a whole lot easier than avoiding them on a 165hp superbike so I'll have to make a follow-up report in a few months. So far I can say for sure that the 9500ix is picking up valid radar "hits" quicker than both the venerable Valentine One or Amber's Passport 8500. The new 9500ix has already saved me one "velocity award" during the 2 days I tested it on my K1200S. Woohoo! Got plenty of warning, too unlike the Valentine which requires Bruce Lee-like reflexes on the binders. This bodes well for this unrepentant law breaker. Arrrrrg.

BMW K1300S / K1300GT Recall : I'm Laughing at the Superior German Intellect! Again!

BMW just issued yet another recall notice. and No.. I'm not kidding. This one is again on the K1300S and K1300GT. The notice says: "The problem involves fuel quality. Poor fuel quality may lead to small deposits within the throttle bodies. During engine operation in a low rpm range, typically near idle speed (when coming to a stop), air flow could be restricted. If air flow was sufficiently restricted, then engine stalling could occur." At least it's not "Toyota" bad this time.

Model Year: 2010
Models affected: K1300GT, K1300S
NHTSA Campaign Number: 09V-471

Summary and Consequences: Mostly stalling issues when coming to a stop. Occurs under 3500rpm. Usually in front of fellow cyclists and/or good looking chicks causing embarrassment, temporary erectile dysfunction, and/or profanity towards Germany.

Corrective Action: Dealers will upgrade to the latest software free of charge. I understand that the latest "flash" is now 14.3. They'll also probably scold the customer for using bad gas and/or suggest .. "they all do that.".. also free of charge. Owners may contact BMW at 1-800-831-1117.

Crystal-Glo Discount Offer to Pirates Lair Fans

In our December 2005 Cheesy Newsletter, I did a review of Crystal-Glo Acrylic Motorcycle Polish and proclaimed it the best wax on earth. and in my April 2007 Cheesy Newsletter I touted the virtues of Crystal-Glo Spray Polish. Loved it. I'm pretty sure I have NOT done a review of their Crystal-Glo Leather & Vinyl Treatment but IMHO it's the best vinyl treatment I've ever used. Coincidentally, I mentioned in my last newsletter that the Vinyl Treatment is great not only for seats, plastic, or vinyl, but also on Carbon Fiber. It doesn't streak like Armour All. It gives Carbon Fiber a "wet" look. The Canadian company just makes some wonderful products.

Not sure if it was due to my verbal generosity or my good looks but I just got an email from Bill Hurt, CEO of Crystal-Glo offering Pirates Lair newsletter fans a 10% discount on any of their products until April 1st, 2010. Here's how to take advantage of his offer...."Your readers will receive a 10% discount on all orders, upon entering the coupon code "pirateslair" at the bottom of the "Shopping Cart"page, BEFORE "Checkout." ( offer expires April 1, 2010 ) Thx, Bill.