Picture Of The Month! Getting High In Austria .. Grossglockner Hochalpenstraße (Click Image for a Larger View)

Every month customers send us killer photos and I see no reason to keep them to myself so what better way to say thanks for sharing than to post them in our Picture of the Month spot..

Our November / December POTM was contributed by Krzysztof Bilski of Warsaw, Poland.. He says of the picture.."The shot was taken on Sep 6, 2021 with my Samsung S20. Very good weather conditions. A sunny day. Close to 14 degrees in C. We were traveling on bikes via Austria to Italy. This is the road on GrossGlockner glacier called Grossglockner Hochalpenstraße near the near the Edelweissspitze view point."

If you would like to contribute your own"worthy" shot for our newsletter, here's what I'll need. First.. just email me 1 or 2 of your best digital shots. It'll need to be at least 1024x768 in size or larger and preferably A. Of a late model BMW and B. In focus. C. No GS's for Gods sake.

Apparently I'm Mortal After All

As most of you probably know by now, our October 16th Pirates Lair I-BMW Reunion party was cancelled just weeks before the event when yours truly suffered a heart attack. After subsequent ER and hospital visits, some painfully expensive tests, and multiple doctor consultations, it was determined that I had some serious blockage. The kind that stents won't fix. The existential kind. The party-canceling kind. The kind that is inherited from a family known for heart attacks and early deaths. So on October 25th I'm undergoing quadruple by-pass open heart surgery.

I'm actually posting this newsletter just days before the surgery as I don't know how long it'll be before I'm back on the computer... Yes.. they tell me that cracking open a human like a piñata, stopping their lungs and heart for over an hour, re-wiring things, then reassembling, and re-animating is almost routine these days. Riiiight. They told me that there's nothing to worry about except a slight chance of death and the worst post-op pain I've ever experienced followed by severe depression and epic mood swings that will last a few months. Sweet. They said recovery and rehab will be grueling and that I probably should seek group counseling afterwards. Routine? Perhaps for the doctors.

The good news is... my surgeon, who claims to have done over 10,000 of these operations, says that I'm in better shape than 95% of the patients he works on. Of course, I don't know this guy from Jack. He may say those exact words to most of his patients to keep their anxiety level down. Amber and I have insurance worthy of the gods so financing this cardiovascular upgrade won't be an issue. She has a lot of vacation time saved up and will be taking off for a few weeks to take care of this aging pirate and help me through the worst of it.

Friends, neighbors, and family have offered to help out... mow the yard, walk the dog, help with our campground, etc so that's covered. One former I-BMW member has graciously offered to take Amber out to dinner as needed and even offered to accompany her on a weekend vacation to Cabo while I recover. I question his motives, but I guess it's the thought that counts. Also.. they tell me I'll lose between 20-25lbs. Win/win.

I guess if this type of surgery has to happen, I couldn't ask for better circumstances. It's the slow time of year for Pirates Lair as everyone (except me) is out riding. My recuperation time will fall in the middle of winter so I won't miss any riding. I should be back in front of my computer by November 10th. Just days before my 66th birthday. While I will miss Halloween, I should be able to visit my family at Christmas.

Lastly... The outpouring of well wishes and prayers from my friends and fellow riders has been overwhelming. I truly feel loved and appreciated going into this. Hope to see you all on the back side as opposed to the "other" side. Wish me well. In my absence, Amber will be handling all Pirates Lair business. Please cut her some slack. She'll be multi-tasking her ass off. You can email her direct at piratesfirstmate@gmail.com

Facing Infinity: Observations

10/23: I've been told that "most people" after having a heart attack are rushed to the hospital and surgery is performed within 24-48 hours. As many who know me can tell you.. I'm not most people. While I did go to the ER a few hours after my recent attack and allowed them to do testing on me for over 5 hours, I walked out due to the medical bureaucracy before all the testing was done. They weren't happy about that and I don't care. Call me irresponsible, but I like to think about things before making life altering decisions or handing over massive sums of money. I subsequently returned to the hospital a week later and completed the testing and on their advice scheduled the by-pass surgery a month later.. on October 25th.

Having a month to get my affairs in order was a plus. Having a month to think about the procedure was not. With that much time, I constantly found myself thinking of all the things that could go wrong which resulted in many sleepless nights. While the odds are 95% that I'll come though it intact, there's still that existential 5% that's standing before me like the monolith in 2001: A Space Odyssey. The unknown. In a few days I will walk up to and look into the abyss.

I'll assume that almost every human who ever walked the earth, when approaching his own demise, has wondered what's on the other side of this life. I would surmise that most people fear what comes after no matter how devout they claim to be. Through the ages, hundreds if not thousands of religions have sprung up offering answers to the eternal questions and comfort at the unsettling idea of "death." Personally, I think the word "death" has an unnecessary negative connotation. I prefer the term.. "transition."

Over the last few weeks I've found myself looking at and sensing things differently.. More reverently. A heightened awareness. The moon seems brighter. The sky .. bluer. The grass greener. Reality itself seems crisper as if I had inadvertently hit a "high rez" button in my psyche to reveal sharper images though my aging eyes. Even music has taken on an all new texture and depth. Over the last few weeks I've noticed that some songs I've heard a thousand times stirred deep emotions. Some even bringing tears to my eyes. This new and profound perspective has reminded me of how wonderful life is. It's obvious (to me) that this enhanced cerebral sensitivity is due to that aforementioned 5% possibility of stepping though the eternal door. I like it. That being said... the odds say that I'll come through my operation with no issues and I'm assuming I'll lose my newfound superpowers and settle back into a mortal life of growing old post recovery.

On the supposedly small chance that things should not go well, I'm mentally prepared for that. I have absolutely no fear of dying. In fact, I find it exciting knowing I could actually be facing my greatest adventure.. Becoming one with infinity. It's been a helluva life, my friends and as Frankie once said.. "I did it my way."

What Men Really Want for Christmas: Pirates Lair Gift Cards and BJs!

Through the years we've gotten more requests for gift cards than anything else except perhaps naked pictures of Amber. Who are we to deny the masses? This holiday season we are again offering Pirates Lair Gift Cards in a number of denominations to fit your congressionally pummeled budget. From $25 to $300! Our standard sized plastic gift card is sleek, stylish, and professionally made. Whip it out (the card, that is) and you will garner respect and admiration from not only your peers, but also the less fortunate around you.

Like buying underwear or choosing a hooker, buying motorcycle accessories is a very personal thing. Simply guessing what your favorite rider actually needs/wants/desires for his ride is a hit or miss proposition. Rather than putting yourself in the embarrassing situation of getting the wrong thing or worse.. something that he or she hates and has to return... you can't go wrong with one of our waaaay cool Pirates Lair Gift Cards. Ladies.. these are perfect for the holidays, birthdays, weddings, promotions, or just a way of saying.. "Sorry honey..but I didn't realize that the old guitar I sold at last month's yard sale for $40 was a 1965 Fender Stratocaster personally autographed by Jimi Hendrix." Remember.. nothing says.. "I love you" or "I'm sorry" to a man like shiny plastic or I suppose.. an unexpected BJ.. One that doesn't involve begging, cash, or undercover police officers.

Included with every Pirates Lair Gift Card is a single-fold, greeting card style gift card holder with a folded/glued pocket inside for easy gift card insertion and removal. And that's not all! We also include a small matching envelope. Folded size: 4 3/4" x 3 3/8" Actual cost of each card is $5 to cover cost of card, holder, envelope package, and insured shipping inside the US. For instance.. a $25 gift card will cost $30 to your door. Saavy? Foreign orders are welcome. Happy Holidays!

Guess that kinda wraps this one up. This will be the last communiqué for 2021. What a fucked up year, but we survived just like we always do. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, doncha know. I know we don't tell you enough, but Amber and I really appreciate everyone's continued support, advice, encouragement, and occasional naked pics throughout the years. Best wishes to you all for a safe and prosperous 2022...

In spite of what the far left would like us to say, we sincerely hope that you and yours (no matter what bike you ride and/or religion) have a a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Remember if you're gonna drink... leave the bike at home... For our secularist customers... Happy Winter Season.

For the US troops serving all over the world thank you for everything you are doing for us and our country. Godspeed, soldier.

Take care.. ride safe...stay warm.. and watch out for flying reindeer... See you in the New Year.. in my mirrors.