Picture Of The Month! South Queensferry, Scotland (Click Image for a Larger View)

Every month customers send us killer photos and I see no reason to keep them to myself so what better way to say thanks for sharing than to post them in this Picture of the Month spot..

Our Sept/ October POTM was contributed by Colin Sullivan who lives near Glasgow, Scotland... . He says of the shot.. "The pic was taken 31/07/22. It’s a pic I’ve always wanted, but never had the chance to get. It’s taken from the south end of the Forth Rail Bridge, in South Queensferry, near Edinburgh, Scotland. We traveled there to attend a custom bike show at the Bikers Cove, a favorite biker cafe in these parts. We had a great day out, and before heading for home, I quietly sneaked the bike down the slipway before anyone noticed. Took the pic on my iPhone. Then traveled back home near Glasgow feeling totally chilled after a day on the bike.!"

If you would like to contribute your own "worthy" shot for our newsletter, here's what I'll need. First.. just email me 1 or 2 of your best digital shots or send me a link if you've already uploaded them somewhere. It'll need to be at least 1024x768 in size or larger and preferably A. Of any late model BMW .. B. In focus... C. No GSs for God's sake.

The BMW Guy! A Cornucopia of BMW How-To's via YouTube

With the untimely demise of I-BMW.com a few years ago, finding "how-tos" for our late model BMWs turned into an anxiety-filled, time exhausting, erection killing problem. Finding a shop manual for our bikes is almost unheard of in this digital age. Wouldn't it be nice if there was a single place where we could watch how-to videos made by a real BMW mechanic? A place where we can commune in coherent mechanical harmony? Well, my friends, that place is The BMW Guy. The following is from his Facebook page.. (pasted)

Some of you know me and some of you don't, here is a brief introduction. I am a factory-certified BMW master tech with 13 years of experience under my belt working on BMW's. I went to school at MMI (Motorcycle Mechanics Institute) in Phoenix Arizona and graduated with a 4.0GPA and then was later accepted into the BMW STEP Program (only 8 people a year get accepted into STEP). After graduating with top honors I went on to work at a BMW Dealer in Wisconsin as their master tech.

After wrenching at a dealership for years I moved on to start work at Polaris at their R&D engineering facility as a Senior power train development engineer for their entire product lineup (Indian, RZR, Ranger, Slingshot...ETC.) Now I wrench on BMWs out of my shop at home on the side and have since started a YouTube channel to hopefully share my wealth of knowledge with you and everyone else, I will be doing tutorials on All BMW Models from 1923 to 2022 and everything in between. I have restored VERY RARE R32s to service new K1600s and R1250s. I am not your stereotypical YouTube mechanic. My goal is to have the #1 BMW service and tutorial channel on YouTube and I won't stop until I get there. Please Subscribe, and watch one of my videos. HAVE A SAFE RIDE -The BMW Guy

The Perfect Curve ..... I Drag, Therefore I Am

I wrote the following in 2007. Thought I'd share it with new newsletter subscribers... And yes, I admit I'm getting lazy as I approach retirement age..

Other than putting a ruler to his penis, how do you measure the true essence of a man? By his lifetime accomplishments mentioned in a tear laden eulogy? Or by the number of friends he has when he checks out at the end of a long life? By the number of women he's loved? Or by the successes of his children? A case could be made for any or all of these, but to a lessor extent to find out who he really is you'd need to ask him about his "personal" achievements. The little milestones of life that no one but himself knows about. I believe these are really what define the man. The person he truly is to himself. I experienced one of these "personal achievements" just recently and while it'll probably mean nothing.. zip.. zero..nada to anyone else on planet earth.. I thought I'd share if for no other reason than if I get this down on paper, I can pass it on to my 2 grandsons. Maybe someday they'll want a glimpse into the id of their grandpa..

I just returned from Barber Motorsports Park in scenic Birmingham, Alabama where I spent 2 glorious days riding with the good people at www.Sportbiketracktime. While there I achieved what, at 51 years old, I had thought would be an unobtainable goal in THIS lifetime. I nailed the "perfect" curve.

Ahh.. but you're saying, surely in 36+ years of riding there must have been lots of perfect curves.. O, contrare, mon frer. This was different and I knew it instantly. This was the kind of curve you see the paid professionals do effortlessly on a regular basis, but..(reality check, por for vor).. you and I aren't professionals nor will we ever ride like those guys. I had honestly relegated the possibility of ME nailing a curve like this to the back of my mind along with a few other "unachievable-in-this-lifetime" goals like climbing Everest, playing guitar like Eddie Van Halen, or sleeping with blond Norwegian twins. (Read the full article here.. )

Pirates Lair I-BMW Reunion Party Re-Scheduled for 2023

In case you are/were a former I-BMW member wondering if the Pirates Lair I-BMW Reunion Party that was unceremoniously cancelled last October is going to happen in 2022, I have good news and bad news for you. The bad news is.. Amber and I have decided to put the party off this year. The good news is... it is gonna happen in October 2023.

There are multiple reasons for the delay. In spite of the fact that I had insurance worthy of the gods, I'm still being inundated with medical bills from my recent open heart surgery. There's also high gas prices for those traveling long distances, a collapsing economy, and the short notice. Many of the people who were planning on attending have long distances to drive and (we're told) they need more than 3 months notice to get their Ducs in a row. We can relate. I also think gas prices will start to recede after the Republicans retake Congress in November.

The party will be held on our mountain property (Paradise Ridge Campground.. see info below) just a few miles east of Asheville and 5 miles off the Blue Ridge Parkway. If all goes as planned we'll have food, drinks, campfires, outdoor toilets, scantily clad jugglers, maybe even live music. We don't care if you ride or drive. There will be plenty of parking although some of it may be in a grassy pasture. There are motels nearby if attendees want to overnight in the area. Limited on-site camping will be available. Bring your own intoxicants.

We do look forward to seeing youz guyz next year. Try not to die before the event. We're all getting old and we've lost two of our finest, original members over the last 24 months. I'll do my best to not have another heart attack before this next one. No promises. Guests and pets are welcome.

We promise the event (our last) will be one to remember. In the months to come, I'll try to contact everyone who has expressed interest individually (via email) before the event. Mark your calendars (if you have 2023 calendars) for Sat. October 14th, 2023.

Paradise Ridge Campground: Asheville, NC ... Right Off the Blue Ridge Parkway

Amber and I bought 6 acres of mountain property just east of Asheville, NC a dozen or so years ago. We chose this location, just 8 minutes from the Blue Ridge Parkway, as it's my favorite place to ride. We've slowly been making improvements to the property in preparation for inviting friends and family over and eventually building our retirement home on it.

A couple of years ago Amber had an idea to recoup some of our monthly expenses by allowing campers to pitch their tents on our beautiful plot of paradise. Asheville is a huge tourist destination. Wish I had thought of it!.. Anyway, this last fall we started taking reservations via the HipCamp.com website. So far we've had dozens of campers stay with us and we're getting rave reviews. Now that we've worked through the learning curve of discerning what campers need and/or want, we're ready to spread the word, allow booking direct, and offer invites to our quasi-esteemed newsletter readers. Keep in mind, this is a working farm so expect horses and free range chickens at times.

You can get most of the booking information and directions off the (admittedly lacking) Hipcamp website or call Amber direct at 828-707-7607 EST . We offer a few wooded camping spots plus a wide open grassy pasture for parking RVs, vans, campers, trailers, or buses. We are (of course) motorcycle friendly. We offer fire-wood for our fire pit, bottled water, a picnic table, a natural water shower, outhouse, and a covered gazebo with seasonal fireplace. Pets are welcome. No honey badgers.

1. K16 Headers: We found out the hard way that BMW made a change to K16 headers on mid or early 2022 models. The headers that have fit all the K16's thru (as best as we can tell) late 2021 had (2) O2 sensor ports in them. The mid-2022 headers now have (4) O2 sensor ports due to the 2022 Euro 5 emission standards, similar to cars. Subsequently, we now know that the Remus part# 0101 089911 headers (sold exclusively in the US by Pirates Lair and listed below) fit only the 2017-2021 K1600 series BMWs. The headers sold below replace only BMW headers with (2) O2 sensor ports. Lastly... we have asked Remus to produce kits for the 2022 (4 port) bikes and hope to see those soon. It's our #1 selling product.

2. Wanna add another 10 or so HP to your painfully underpowered K1300S? Are we not men? We've heard some good things about Vivid Racing's VR Tuned ECU Flash Tune BMW Motorrad K1300S. Besides an increase in horsepower, better throttle response is also one of the most noticeable features.

3. This is worth a look for newbies... Mistakes Beginner Motorcycle Riders Make, Part 2

4. Along the great mysteries of the universe like the great Sphinx, black holes, dark matter, and the workings of the clitoris... there is CanBus. Can any of us really explain it? Probably not. This should help...Understanding The BMW Motorcycle CANBUS System

5. Stuck with a flat battery in your BMW Motorrad keyless remote? Here's a simple tip that may save yourself a walk home!

1. Once again, Pirates Lair is forced to offer a solution to a problem that BMW's designers created and without their astronomical pay. We are now offering a two piece frame side panel cover kit to cover up those butt-ugly holes on the sides of your 2018+ K1600B Bagger & Grand America. Made from genuine ABS plastic (not that fake shit), install is *chimp-easy and takes only minutes and without tools or Ivy League college degree. While these frame panels come in a smooth matte black finish and make the sides of your magnificent bike look 100% better as delivered, some will want to paint them to match their bike. Not a problem. A little Scotch Brite and they'll be paint-ready. - * Chimp not included. You can order your K16 Bagger / Grand America Frame Side Panel Cover Kit here...

2.The all new Akrapovic Black Titanium Slip-On Exhaust System for the K16 Bagger / Grand America was developed for riders who want to make a change to the bike's look and sound with minimum modification. Ride in style with the Akrapovič Black Ti Slip-On exhaust system for the world's top-of-the-line BMW touring motorcycle. You will love its unique design, which is outstandingly executed using top-quality titanium canisters and carbon fiber outlet caps. Like every aftermarket exhaust available for the K1600 series, your O2 sensors remains plugged into your factory header. How does it sound? Fucking awesome. We're trying to determine if these kits fit the 2022 bikes..

3. Pirates Lair has an all new newsletter notification service in place. If you've subscribed and missed some notices we apologize. All kinds of shit has been going on behind the curtain. We think we've got it all sorted out. If you'd like to be notified when each new newsletter is posted, just email me with your request and I'll make that happen. Our email database is 100% secure. Never shared or sold to third parties unless sexual favors are involved.

4. In case you hadn't noticed, the price of everything has skyrocketed over the last year or so. We all know who's to blame so I won't dwell on it. I'm bringing this up as most of our customers have probably noticed that prices on our menu have started creeping (or even rocketing) up in an exponential way. Besides the weekly increases in shipping costs (both here and abroad) virtually every month one of my vendors is contacting me with price changes that I'll be required to implement. Just wanted to say.. '"I'm sorry.. It's out of my control."

6. The Pirates Lair email address of 20 years recently changed from pirate@acelink.net to pirateslair@gmail.com. Our newsletter notices will be sent from pirateslair@charter.net I suggest you OK that address in your spam filter otherwise you may or may not get the notices..

I-BMW Reunion.. Pirates Lair Is Throwing Another Party! October 14th, 2023

Where: 122 Flat Top Mountain Rd, Fairview, NC 28730
Remember, when you Google directions to our property to make sure you put in the zip code as there are TWO 122 Flat Top Mountain Rds in North Carolina. We don't want you getting lost or showing up at the wrong one.. Awkward.
GPS Coordinates: N 35 degrees, W 082 degrees
When: Sat. October 14th, 2023
Contact : 828-628-7093 or Pirateslair@gmail.com
Nearby Motel: Ramada by Wyndham Asheville Southeast

Amber and I will be hosting this one-day event (our first since 2007) for former I-BMW members, posters, or lurkers. Guests are welcome. This will be held on our mountain property (Paradise Ridge Permaculture Campground) just a few miles east of Asheville and 5 miles off the Blue Ridge Parkway. If all goes as planned we'll have food @ noon, non-alcoholic drinks, campfires, outdoor toilets, scantily clad jugglers, annoying mimes, maybe even live music around 5pm. Keep in mind, we do NOT have electricity on site.

Note: This will NOT be a "rain or shine" event. If it's gonna be wet or rainy.. we will cancel. Check with us a week prior to the event to make sure we're still a go.

We don't care if you ride or drive. There will be plenty of parking although most of it will be in a grassy pasture. There are motels nearby if attendees want to overnight in the area, but you'll need to book in advance as this is near the peak leaf-peeping season. Limited on-site camping will be available. Bring your own intoxicants. Email me for EXACT DIRECTIONS.