It took my pet chimp about an hour to attach the new device ie.. the Schaffer Power Line Filter to the Escort power cord on my Ducati 1098 and that included removing and reinstalling the side body panel. He left the current Escort power cable in place and just inserted the new device and cables to the lower end between it and the battery. There are only 2 wires.. a hot wire and ground so your chimp ain' t gonna damage any simian synapses figuring things out. After the easy install, I ventured forth onto the local roads for some testing with high expectations and this time I got better results.The Passport 9500ix was "almost" bogus warning free... almost.

On my favorite "hooligan" section of the BRPW where I ALWAYS get falses, all things were hunky dory until .. yep.. you guessed it.. the detector went off twice. No cops around. Once when deep into a tunnel on the BRPW and again just after exiting the tunnel. The two alerts may or may not have been instigated when the Passport 9500ix's warning voice announces that the GPS signal has been lost (when going into a tunnel) and again when the signal is reacquired (upon exiting.) I may have to do some more testing to see if the falses are actually caused by the 9500ix's verbal warnings which is very possible or if it's just a coincidence. I don't like coincidences. Otherwise.. after a week of sporadic testing I received only one other warning which may or may not have been a false. I was decelerating rapidly when the detector went off.. Never saw a cop which doesn't mean much. They're sneaky little bastages around here. Could have been a false.. could have been the real deal.

My gutty wuts tell me that the falses have been reduced by 95-98% by the $11 Schaffner module giving me a nice warm vibraty feeling inside, but that assumption is totally unscientific and characteristic of my half-assed testing procedures. What do you expect for free? Thoroughness? As I write this, I'm naked, but convinced this is the best idea I've seen to eliminate the dreaded falses. It does seem to work as promised. Thx, R. For a detailed How-To Install on a BMW K1200RS.. Click Here

1. More and more details are trickling in on the upcoming 2011 BMW K1600GT & K1600GTL, but of all the info I've seen... nothing impresses me more than the Adaptive Headlight. IMHO.. this could revolutionize the industry.. Check out the video and tell me you aren't impressed. I dare ya.

2. If you own a 2005-2008 BMW K1200S, sooner or later you're gonna need to change your oil which means you'll need to buy an oil filter. Here's a link where you can buy K&N Oil filters for these bikes. Cost is a reasonable $14.95+ shipping. I just installed one on my bike and one major benefit is... with the K & N filter you don't need a "special wrench" to tighten or remove it. Guess the Germans couldn't figure that out?

3. Whether on the track or the street... a good set of tank grips makes a world of difference.. Not only in controlling your S1000RR, but protecting the finish. My choice has always been Tech Spec Tank Protectors and have them on all my bikes. Pirates Lair also sells them. Tech Spec Kits don't take away from the looks of the bike, are re-useable, and feel good. Another option on the market for the new BMW S1000RR are StompGrip Traction Pads. I've used them and didn't like them at all... but.. others might.

4. If you are drooling...er.. thinking about the aforementioned upcoming 6 cylinder uber-bikes... the BMW K1600GT or K1600GTL.. you'll find this interesting ..Check out this Very Detailed .pdf Tech File from BMW on the K16GT/GTL!

5. Speaking of the BMW K1600GT or K1600GTL.. Here are the latest spy-photos from Europe!!

6. Speaking of waaaay cool Japanese products for the S1000RR.. Check out these Sato Engine Sliders Me likey.

7. K1400R in the future?? Looks like it's gonna happen....Just wish the Germans would concentrate on making the K13 series lighter rather than just more powerful. Just sayin.'

8. The new MRA S1000RR Double-Bubble Racing Windscreen is now available. The windscreen is made of 3mm High Impact acrylic, which is one of the best grades of acrylic and provides strength and flexibility to the screen. The new double bubble design offers a great improvement on aerodynamics (12.2% better than OEM) and a better wind protection. It uses the stock hardware and does not need any modification. Moreover, the screen follows the OEM design at the bottom on the ram in-take. Guess where you can get them??

9. Want to see something sweet!! Check out the Yoshimura Slip-On for S1000RR.. Damn that's pretty.

10. Just found this... Sato Racing Hooks for the BMW S1000RR.. My question is... while they look cool.. what the f#@* are they for? Strapping down luggage? Somebody please 'splain it to me... I am clueless.

1. As per the blurb not 2 inches ago.. MRA has finally released the new S1000RR Double Bubble Racing Windscreen and we have them! The windscreen is made of 3mm High Impact acrylic, which is one of the best grades of acrylic and provides strength and flexibility to the screen. The double bubble design offers a great improvement on aerodynamics (12.2% better than OEM) and a better wind protection. It uses the stock hardware. Moreover, the screen follows the OEM design at the bottom on the ram in-take. Price is $120 to your door. Those are In Stock!

2. We just got confirmation that Heli-Bars are compatible with Throttlemeisters on the BMW K1200S & K1300S. Click Here for a View. Thx, M.

3. We started selling IDI Designs K1300S / K1200S / K1300R / K1200R Bar Risers last month... Just got the following glowing testimonial.. Thought I'd share: "Thanks for letting me test the IDI Risers on my BMW K1200S on my recent 2 week vacation. As promised... here are my impressions. Richard, who is the chief mechanic at Matrix Motorsports here in Tallahassee installed them for me. I watched the install and I believe just about anyone with any degree of mechanical skill can do the install in less than an hour. The instructions are clear and we had no problems. Once installed, changing the position is very simple. I changed them myself in under 5 minutes a side. The bars in the up position are perfect for traveling. We rode 2000 miles and I was comfortable the whole time. The down position gives the ride a whole new dimension. By forcing the torso over the bike the weight shifts forward making cornering easier and more precise. I am able to ride faster in the corners than I ever could in a stock raised position. The IDI risers are great. They give the flexibility to ride upright or in a racing position. The best of both worlds. They are easy to work with and the adjustments take only minutes. For the money involved they are a great addition." Ralph H. Haben / Tallahassee, FL.

4. Somebody alert the media... We now have the Evoluzione Clutch Slave Cylinder Kits for the 2005-08 BMW K1200S, 2006-08 K1200R, 2007-08 K1200R Sport, 2006-08 K1200GT In Stock!!

5. Ok.. you've gotten your BMW S1000RR and the first thing you do (after the drooling subsides) is remove your rear footpeg brackets for track days.. or to make sure nobody asks you for a ride. Who'd want to ride two up on this bike, anyway?? You get the hangers off and you are stuck with those unseemly holes. What to do? We now have R & G Racing BMW S1000RR Blanking Plates on the menu.Tidy up the rear of your bike with these easy to install blanking plates. Sold in pairs only. Chimp-easy install. a paltry $50 (chimp not included).

6. We now have Marc Parnes Wheel Balance Kits on the menu for the BMW S1000RR. Some of us choose to mount and balance our own tires.. Why? Because we hate to pay the local extortionist.. er.. dealer $60 a pop to mount, scratch, and balance our tires when we can mount, scratch, and balance our own!

7. If you own a BMW K1200S or K1300S and have been waiting for the magnificently beauteous Sato rearsets to hit the market.. Your wait is almost over, bucko..We just got word that the first US shipment is in transit from Japan. Woohoo! As beautiful as they are functional, Sato rearsets set the standard in a sea of "fugly" equipment and we'll have them Here... You own one of the most beautiful bikes ever created.. Shouldn't you choose your equipment with the same criteria? They'll come in 3 color choices.. Silver, Black, or Gold anodized. Levers ride on twin ball bearings for a smooth feel, and no slop, as in found with bushings. Knurled non-folding pegs offer good grip, with more ground clearance. Fully adjustable 8 positions. Individual replacement parts are available. Not sure if these will fit the K1200R but they should and we will find out.. You deserve the best... or do you? Details and more pics to come...

How-To-Survive On A Motorcycle

We have a new contribution this month. Woohoo! Check out # 156! Contributed by M. Ellwood.. aka Muzzy in Australia. Could our tips save your life? Dare you NOT look?

If you'd like to help others by contributing a How-To-Survive On A Motorcycle, How to Survive Deals Gap, or any How-To link.. First... check out the tips we already have and if you have something new... just send to me and if it's worthy... I'll add it.. Remember.. we're all in this together.. so shave your legs.

Pirates Lair Sacred Archives

We get a lot of requests for specific articles and/or reviews I've written in the past. Rather than fry my aging brain trying to remember where they are on our multi-thousand page website, I have decided to list the "worthy" ones here. Most of the links are to past newsletters.. Some are to full web articles. Remember, I'm no expert on anything except perhaps cunnilingus so the opinions within the archives are only my own. Saavy?

BMW How-To Section

We have a new contribution this month.. pilfered from lagunas2k over at www.I-BMW.com. Well done. Thx, mate. ..Check out his How To Install Z4 Turn Signals on BMW K1200S

Picture at right Courtesy of Sports Illustrated photographer Walter Iooss, Jr. / Model: Ms Melissa Haro