The Latest Cheesy K12 Pirates' Lair Newsletter

News From The Two-Wheeled No-Spin Zone...!!

Vanson Leathers: Ordering Custom Garments.. Be Afraid! .. A Tale of Lies, Woe, and Despair!"

In our August 2006 Cheesy Newsletter, I gave a raving endorsement of Vanson Leathers. Since then, I have changed my opinion about one aspect of the company and I feel it's my duty as an honest pirate (oxymoron?) to bring my new opinions to light.

In my initial article I should have mentioned that at that time, I had never actually ordered a "custom" jacket or pants from them. At the time, I had only bought multiple garments off the rack and had always been 100% happy with the product and fit. My trip up to Vanson Headquarters almost a year ago was made for no other reason than I wanted a custom pair of pants made and I wanted their seamstress to measure me live and in person so I could make sure that I got what I was wanting. As it turns out.. after almost a year, this simple task has turned into a seemingly never-ending nightmare due to Vanson's stupefying incompetence.

While I will NOT go into every mind-numbing detail as it makes me cry and my 'nads shrivel, I will give you the big ugly of how bad their "custom-order" customer service is and how bad I was treated. You may want to sit a spell .. and/or take a vicoden.

After a long flight and a short drive in a rental car I walked into the Vanson facility in late July 06 and was personally measured for a pair of custom fully perfed pants by their seamstress and was assured I'd have them in time for the Deals Gap Rally which was a full 7 weeks away in late Sept. She took a gazillion measurements which made me feel like the trip was well worth the money. Boy was I wrong. I called at 4 weeks before the rally.. 3 weeks... 2 weeks and each time I spoke with Pauline, their customer service rep and I suspect... a graduate of Mr Haney's School for Lying Liars. Each time she swore she'd get back to me with an update and delivery date. She never called back. Lied to me 6 times in a row... She was always convincing with her warm sounding "truthiness" and apparently I fell for it every time..

At 1 week before the rally I called again (trying to be nice) and again was assured by the diva of deception, Pauline that they would be in my hands before the rally even if she had to deliver them overnight personally via her Hoyt Clagwell tractor. At two days before the rally, Robert (a higher up suit) called to say that there was no way they'd be in my hands in time so they'd send me a loaner pair to use until I had my custom pair. Geeezz. I could live with that.. I'm a reasonable pirate. Sure enough, a loaner pair arrived the next day that was too small by 2" at the waist. Doh! A valiant effort but no cigar. The rally, the riding season, and an Iraqi dictator come and go. A month later my pants show up missing all the inner material and the velcro that secures it. I ship it back at my expense. Two weeks later the same pair shows up but I notice that the rear zipper is missing so again I ship it back at my expense.Where is their quality control person? Do they have one? Do they have a death penalty for murder in Massachusetts? Another month passes and my custom pair actually shows up and.... drum roll please.... the waist is 2" too small .. Geezus Christ!! So.... I ship them back again at my expense.

It's unbelievable that a company that's been around as long as these guys could be so apathetic as to the satisfaction of their long-term customers. I'm not used to being lied to with such gleeful abandon (except by politicians and my third wife) and I will not soon forget. Repeated calls asking to speak with the owners went unanswered although Pauline swears she's given them our messages. The moral of the story is.. If you can buy Vanson clothing off the rack... you'll not be sorry. Quality is second to none.. but if you need custom gear made.. you might want to look elsewhere.. I will.

Postscript: On Feb 12th apparently hell actually froze over as yes... I received my pants..(pic at right)... and they are absolutely perfect. Only SEVEN months!!

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ESA Replacement: Bend Over and Take It?

OK.. In case you didn't know, (and your gonna hate hearing this) word on the street is that replacing your foofoo ESA system will cost you an ass-bitin' $3000. Yikes!! Thank you Germany! Payback for WWII?

So what to do besides cry like a girl? Fear not!! I spoke with my good buddy Klaus at Wilbers USA today just to find out the situation and here's what I came away with.... At the moment you can replace the ESA factory shocks with Wilbers or one or two other brands and they will work fine.. You'll get no dash warnings (or so I was told) and the aftermarket shocks will work BETTER than the generic ESA most of us have, although all shock functions will have to be made by hand.. Duh, ...but here's the problem.

If you disconnect the factory shocks and install Wilbers, Ohlins, etc, when you go to a dealer for whatever reason and they hook up your bike to their diagnostic equipment they will instantly get the ESA malfunction/error warning and they can go NO further with diagnostics or repair until the ESA wiring harness is hooked back up to the factory shocks. Essentially.. their system will freeze. This means.. you'd need to carry the original shocks to the dealer with you..or if you were traveling, you'd need to carry them around with you or you couldn't get any work done to the bike.. Isn't that a pisser??

The good news is.. Wilbers is working on some kind of plug-in gizmo that will trick the BMW diagnostic equipment into thinking the ESA is connected and working properly...solving the aforementioned problem. This little device will come standard with replacement Wilbers shocks for us ESA guys. He also mentioned that unlike the K1200RS, they would offer a fully integrated rear unit similar to the one pictured at right.

So bottom line.. you can add any aftermarket shocks you want to your K1200S (or other ESA infested bike) right now, but you will have that diagnostic problem. I've been told that they would notify me when they get these kits available.

Wilbers Rear Shock

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What's New In the K1200RS/GT/S/R No-Spin Zone

I should note that as the RS and 02-05 GT has been discontinued, I receive less and less news of any new products for them.. I mention this as a few semi-loyal subscribers have accused me of abandoning our roots.. Not true.. I only report what's going on.. Don't shoot the messenger.. I will NEVER abandon the K1200RS crowd. It appears that the times.. they are a changin.' Deal with it. Also.. a special thx to www.I-BMW.com, www.K-Bikes.com , and www.BMWK1200S.com for the information & pictures I regularly pilfer from these chat sites..

1. Do you find yourself sliding forward when coming to a stop? Scuffing up your tank with your clutching knees?? Don't have enough grip on the tank when corner carving? Your wife sliding off the bike during late night garage sex? If you want grip AND protection.. here's a nice idea.. Gripster Sport Grip Skins by Tech-Spec Products. I have the snakeskin version on my R1 and it works great.. especially during the garage sex. Tech-Spec offers kits for the K1200S, the new GT, the R1200RT, and various other bikes. Unlike the STOMP products which are clear, ugly as sin, and harder to get off than a 'luded out nun, the Tech-Spec material is black, feels like a thin rubber, and is manufactured using a Releasable / Reusable adhesive. Cost for the kit is about $45 and worth every penny/doubloon/shekel. My personal thumbs up.

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Blue Ridge Parkway K12 Rally 2007: May 17th - 20th, 2007 (Contributed by our good buddy, Sir Tim Hudspeth aka CBNFVR over at www.I-BMW.com )

Where: Peaks of Otter Lodge, Blue Ridge Pkwy mp 86, Virginia
When: May 17th thru 20th, 2007 (Thur – Sun)
This is the weekend after Mother's Day, before Memorial Day, and well after the Georgia Mtn Rally.
Call Peaks of Otter Lodge for reservations @ 1.540.586.1081 • 1.800.542.5927 • Fax 1.540.586.4420
Note: Specify one bed or two. !! Blue Ridge Parkway info and maps can be found here and here

Don’t know what BRPR is? It is us. Real people, riding and laughing for three days. Rain or shine. If you don’t have a good time,.sell the bike. FYI.. I'm already booked!

Alternate Lodging (info only) :
Super 8 – Bedford
Days Inn – Bedford

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35th Annual BMW RA International Rally: June 7th-10th, 2007

We just got the official word.. The 2007 RA International Rally will be held here in Asheville, North Carolina on June 7-10th. The location is set for the Biltmore Estate .

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